S.O.S.

First and foremost, I suppose blogging etiquette would beg that I begin this long overdue post with a sincere apology for my absence. So.... I know that it’s been too long....life interferes....computer was broken....I was paralyzed from the neck down.....my dog ate my aircard....whatever.... The important thing is what forced me to find the time to sit down and reach out to my ever-growing following of.....5 people....WTH...damn, that’s sad. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, my emergency... I NEED AN INTERVENTION!!!!!

It’s true. I am sad and humbled at how far I’ve fallen. It’s funny how utter humiliation and degradation can sneak up on you. Here I am – a 42 year old, intelligent professional. I read a variety of authors. My tastes in music are varied and my loyalty to my favorites is absolute. So, this moring, in the car, and on my way to the office – I find my self vulnerable. I don’t have any of my CDs playing - that’s right, no classic rock favorites of Def Leopard, Poison or Boston, no songs from my new interest John Bonamassa, no feel good soul from James Brown or Percy Sledge, not even music from the Daughtry and Theory of a Deadman concert I will be attending in December. None of my “Knights in Shining Armor” were there to intervene.

No, instead I had the radio on. I want to blame the traffic, a lack of sleep, or the resulting overdose of caffeine, but regardless of the cause.....it happened. I, in view of others, while in my car, on the expressway.....discovered.....I was dancing and singing along with Miley Cyrus....Party in the U.S.A. Me, the woman who tried to have the Disney channel blocked from her TV - who almost physically gags of at the thought of mullets and that old “achy breaky heart” – was “noddin’ my head like yea, movin my hips like yea.” I knew the (so called) lyrics! I was feeling the (oh so not original) beat!

I immediately pulled over and “slapped” the radio off and pinched myself to wake from the nightmare. After a few moments, the shaking and chills stopped. My pulse settled back to normal and my eyesight wasn’t blurry any longer. I slowly edged back into traffic and cautiously turned on Disc 3, Track 7 – Pour Some Sugar on Me. Then a Nickelback song – I was still holding up fine. I started to relax. Bad Bad Girlfriend by the Deadman and I was feeling safe again. Confident even. I arrived at work and was walking in, thinking and convincing myself I could handle this on my own. I was okay....(noddin my) No one needed to know (my head like yea) what had happened. It would be (movin my hips) my own dirty secret. (like y........) WTH.....I was doing it again, but his time in my mind. It has managed to reach and contaminate my subconscious. I have to reach out for help. Call L.A. (Losers Anonymous) or the head of S.W.A.A.M. (Society of Women Against Awful Music)! Call somebody; please.....I don’t think I can live like this....