Weekly Rambling

While I do not have ADD, I have been exposed to those that do and a conversation with them is what this post is going to resemble. I have had a very strange week and thus – when I sat down to put the thoughts to paper – I found them very disjointed and unconnected. Yes, I could have selected one and worked to develop it into a well organized, funny, and sassy post but decided that .....it’s my blog and I’ll ramble if I want to : )

Questions of the Week

Time Served?
If I were arrested for trying to sell or rent my kids on eBay, do you think they would take the hours I’ve invested in raising the selfish ungrateful little snots and deduct them from my prison sentence?

Is that rat wearing a tutu?
I have a co-worker who lives on the east coast who not only raises, but shows guinea pigs as a hobby. Not kidding. At the strangest times of the day, I will get an email from her sharing the latest photo of a long-haired rodent wearing a damned rhinestone tiara. I’m fighting not to cry when I look in a mirror each morning and those damned rats are winning beauty contests!

He in She Form?
Sitting with a co-worker who I thought could be a new friend when it opened its mouth to chastise the working/wife/mother sitting next to me for being angry with her husband because he expected her to get down on her knees (not sure if she meant that literally) in appreciation because he cooked dinner the night before. “You should be grateful you have a man willing to help you out. After all, those things aren’t his job” WTH! Be grateful that he used the food OUR paychecks purchased to prepare a meal for OUR family. I won’t get started on the roles that men/women should or should not share, but I could not believe those words came out of her mouth. She had seemed a smart, modern, independent woman. I was shocked to realize that she was in fact, a he in disguise. I hate getting surprised by those realizations but it’s my fault. I should have guessed when he/she/it offered me her favorite self-help book, “Real Women Swallow.”

Emotions of the Week

Heart heavy sadness over a teen suicide at our local high school. The realization that he saw life as hopeless at 17 years of age is tragic beyond words. A wake-up call to all parents to be involved and sensitive to the drama/stress/feelings/happenings in our own young people’s lives.

Bewilderment at the stupidity of people pulling their children out of class to prevent them from viewing the President’s address on the importance of education. Let’s see – I am concerned about possible political brainwashing from minutes of exposure to Obama (who you may or may not agree with) but don’t worry at all about the influence of hours spent in front of the television, computer, or video gaming system. ???????

Joy at rediscovering multi-dimensional friendships which allow for fun in a multitude of ways, including saying the A, B, C’s. True friends are those that always provide enjoyment and pleasure regardless of how often you get together.

Stupid Quotes of the Week......and my responses

Former Confidant: “You know, Deb, you should always keep in mind that things could be worse. There’s always someone worse off than you if you just look around.” Shut the F up and let me bitch.

Cashier at Hell: “Are you over 21?” Shut the F up and just ring up my beer.

Any and Every Child of Deb: “Have you washed.....? Can I have....? Did you buy....? Can I go.....? Will you....? Why don’t you....?” Shush (I try to watch the language with the teens) and go check my eBay account?

Thinks He’s Funny Husband: “Are you a real woman?” Why are you asking th.....put that book down!